16 airport investors show interest in Midway

An international array of airport investors and operators have shown interest in developing bids to privatize Midway Airport, the city announced Friday evening.

Sixteen parties responded to the city's "request for qualifications" by a 4 p.m. deadline, indicating they had interest in leasing, operating and improving the Southwest Side airport, the nation's 26th busiest, with about 9 million passengers passing through annually.

"The response generated from the  ... process is encouraging and provides the city with a sense of the strong level of interest in a potential lease," said Lois Scott, the city's chief financial officer. "We must evaluate fully if this could be a win for Chicagoans."

The city and its advisers will review the responses to identify qualified potential bidders.

Of the 16, seven had both the operational and financial capabilities sought in the RFQ. The city identified them as:

-- ACO Investment Group, an investor and operator with global airport experience.

-- AMP Capital Investors Limited, a manager and investor in airports, including Melbourne Airport in Australia and Newcastle Airport, in Britain.

--  Corporacion America Group, an Argentina-based airport operator with 49 airports in seven countries.

-- Global Infrastructure Partners (GIP), which is the controlling investor and active manager of London City Airport, London Gatwick Airport and Edinburgh Airport.

--Great Lakes Airport Alliance, which is a partnership of Macquarie Infrastructure and Real Assets and Ferrovial. Its airport operations include London's Heathrow, Brussels Airport and Copenhagen Airport.

-- Incheon International Airport and Hastings Funds Management, which is the sole owner and operator of Incheon International Airport in South Korea and an investor with 16 airport-related investments.

--  Industry Funds Management and Manchester Airport Group, an investor with interests in 13 airports, including Melbourne Airport and Brisbane Airport, both in Australia, and operator of Manchester Airport and East Midlands Airport, in Britain.

If the city moves forward and seeks proposals, a privatization plan could be submitted to the City Council this summer.

This is the second time Chicago has looked at privatizing Midway. A 99-year lease that would have brought in $2.5 billion died in 2009 when the financial markets froze. That deal had drawn six serious bidders.

Mayor Rahm Emanuel has said any second attempt would have to provide city taxpayers with a better deal than the widely criticized 75-year agreement to privatize parking meter operations, carried out during former Mayor Richard Daley's administration. Proceeds from the earlier deal were used to plug operating deficits, and meter rates rose sharply.

This time, proposed leases must be less than 40 years, which locks in the city for a shorter period.

Rather than making only an upfront payment, the private operator also must share revenue with the city on an ongoing basis. Initial proceeds would be used to pay down debt issued since 1996 to rebuild the airport, the mayor's office said. There is about $1.4 billion in outstanding debt.

Longer term, cash flow would be directed to city infrastructure needs. The mayor has pledged proceeds would not be used to pay for city operations.

kbergen@tribune.com

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Storm loses punch, but still socks morning commute

A winter storm that buried the Great Plains in more than a foot of snow lost some of its punch as it blew through Chicago overnight, but it still managed to slow the morning commute with slick roads and dozens of spinouts on expressways.

Snow began tapering off around 5:30 a.m., but the National Weather Service was warning of freezing drizzle through the morning and light snow in the afternoon. A winter weather advisory remains in effect until 6 p.m.

At 6 a.m., 2.7 inches had fallen at O'Hare International Airport, tying the highest total recorded there this winter, according to the National Weather Service. Accumulation ranged from 2 to 5 inches throughout the area, according to the Chicago Weather Center.

At the height of the storm shortly after midnight, state police described road conditions as "horrible." But conditions had improved by the time the morning rush hour began. Still, state police said they had responded to 22 accidents as of 7 a.m. but there were many other spinouts that didn't require their assistance.

The city of Chicago sent 284 plows to work clearing main thoroughfares, according to the Streets and Sanitation Department.

Dozens of schools closed because of the storm, or delayed start times.

The storm, which is moving toward the Northeast, has forced the cancellation of nearly 400 flights at O'Hare and delays for 80 more.

Flurries could linger into the weekend, with a chance for light snow on Saturday.  High temperatures both days should be around 30, with lows in the low 20s and high teens both mornings.

Kansas bore the brunt of the storm, with up to 15 inches of snow in some parts of the state, according to the National Weather Service. A 200-mile stretch of Interstate 70 in central Kansas was closed and strewn with cars stuck in snow.

National Guard troops riding in Humvees were dispatched to look for stranded motorists along the interstate and other highways, said Sharon Watson, a spokeswoman for Kansas emergency management services.

The fierce storm triggered severe thunderstorms from eastern Texas to Georgia. Thunder accompanied snow in Kansas City, hit by 2 to 3 inches of snow per hour on Thursday morning.

"When there is thunder and lightning, it's a pretty screaming clue that you are going to have massive snowfall," said Andy Bailey, a meteorologist with the National Weather Service in Pleasant Hill, Missouri.

Missouri Gov. Jay Nixon and Kansas Gov. Sam Brownback declared states of emergency because of hazardous travel and possible power outages. Brownback ordered state offices closed because of the storm.

Kansas City International Airport was closed on Thursday while crews cleared runways. It was unclear when the airport would reopen, spokesman Joe McBride said.

At the Denver International Airport, some 55 commuter flights were canceled overnight, spokeswoman Laura Coale said. More than 320 flights in and out of Lambert-St. Louis International Airport were scrapped and nearly 50 flights in and out of Omaha's Eppley Airfield were listed as canceled by midday.

In Nebraska, a 19-year-old woman was killed in a two-car accident on Wednesday on Interstate 80 near Giltner. The Nebraska State Patrol said weather was a factor.

An 18-year-old man died in Oklahoma when his vehicle slid into a semi-truck on a slushy state highway, the state's highway patrol said.

The storm is expected to reach the East Coast this weekend, delivering heavy snow to parts of New England for a third straight weekend, from northern Connecticut to southern Maine.

Reuters contributed

chicagobreaking@tribune.com

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United not planning on Dreamliner until June

The All Nippon Airways Dreamliner 787 arrives at Mineta San Jose International Airport. (Gary Reyes/San Jose Mercury News/MCT / January 22, 2013)

Staff and wire report

1:35 p.m. CST, February 21, 2013

The parent company of United Airlines says it is taking the Boeing 787 off its schedule through June 5 for all but one of its routes.

United Continental Holdings Inc. said it still plans to use the 787 on its flights between Denver and Tokyo's Narita airport starting May 12. It had aimed to start that route on March 31.

United, currently world's largest airline and the only U.S. customer for the 787, said the timing of that reinstatement will depend on resolution of the Dreamliner's current issues.

The 50 Dreamliners in commercial service were grounded worldwide last month after a series of battery-related incidents including a fire on board a parked plane in the United States and an in-flight problem on another jet in Japan. United had only been flying the plance since November.

Sources told Reuters earlier this week that Boeing Co. has found a way to fix the battery problems that involves increasing the space between the lithium ion battery cells.

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Judge poised to rule in Drew Peterson case

Drew Peterson could be sentenced to up to 60 years in prison today if a judge rejects defense team arguments that his former lead attorney's inept trial performance violated his constitutional rights to a fair trial.

Judge Edward Burmila is expected to rule Thursday whether the former Bolingbrook police sergeant will get a new trial, a rarely granted motion.

If not, Burmila will begin a sentencing hearing at which prosecutors have said they plan to argue Peterson also killed his fourth wife, Stacy, who went missing in 2007, in asking for the maximum sentence.

Peterson, 59, was convicted by a jury last fall of first-degree murder in the 2004 bathtub drowning of his third wife, Kathleen Savio.

Among the oddities Wednesday, during the unusual hearing on post-trial motions that has stretched across two days, was former Peterson lead attorney Joel Brodsky chatting in a courthouse hallway with Stacy's sister Cassandra Cales.

Both declined to detail their conversation. “We were just discussing how to make sure that her sister Stacy isn't forgotten after Drew goes away,” Brodsky said.

Much of Wednesday's hearing focused on Brodsky's trial decision to call Wheaton divorce attorney Harry Smith, who represented Savio in her bitter divorce fight with Peterson and also fielded a call from Stacy about her divorce options shortly before she vanished.

Smith testified at trial that Stacy had asked him if the fact that Peterson killed his third wife could be used as leverage in a divorce.

Several jurors said after trial that the testimony convinced them of Peterson's guilt. There was no physical evidence tying Peterson to Savio's death, which was initially treated as an accident.

Retired Cook County Judge Daniel Locallo, called as a witness by Peterson's attorneys, blasted Brodsky for calling Smith, saying the testimony for the first time at trial connected Peterson to Savio's death.

The retired judge said that, in his opinion, Brodsky's decisions constituted ineffective assistance of counsel, which can be grounds for a new trial.

“It was an awful decision,” defense attorney Steve Greenberg later argued in court. “It ruined the case -- we brought out the worst possible evidence, and the best evidence for the state.”

The defense team also attempted to call to the stand Will County State's Attorney James Glasgow to explain his comment in a courthouse hallway during the trial that Smith's testimony was “a gift from God.”

Greenberg wanted to use the statement to contradict prosecutors' argument that Smith's testimony was part of well-thought-out defense strategy.

Burmila first called Glasgow to be sworn in, but stopped the process after prosecutors said Peterson had failed to meet the legal standards necessary to call him.

Assistant State's Attorney Marie Czech argued that Brodsky's decision to call Smith was a calculated risk to discredit Stacy by attempting to show she was out for money, and not grounds for a new trial.

“There was a strategic decision,” she argued. “It was well-conceived.”

Greenberg argued that the upside was so small and the risks so monumental that there was no way Brodsky's decision could have been part of a reasonable trial strategy.

“Whatever kernel of impeachment Mr. Brodsky thought he was going to get out of it paled in comparison to the mountain of damage that it brought out,” Greenberg said. “It was awful strategy, and that strategy alone means Mr. Peterson should get a new trial from this court.”

Brodsky, who could be heard sighing loudly as he listened to Wednesday's arguments in an overflow room, continued to assert that he was not alone in the decision to call Smith, saying Greenberg supported the decision.

“A number of lies and misrepresentations were made about me today, but you know, I've got tough skin,” Brodsky said. “I can handle that.”

Stacy's older sister Cales said she was “very excited” that Peterson could be sentenced Thursday.

“Even if he gets the minimum of 20 years, technically that's life for him because he's an old man,” she said.

Cales said that she still holds out hope that someone will come forward with information about her sister's disappearance. Prosecutors have said they are reviewing the case again with an eye to possibly bringing charges.

“Maybe that person out there will have a conscience and come forward because Drew will be away at prison and will be unable to hurt them,” Cales said.

mwalberg@tribune.com
sschmadeke@tribune.com

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Rapper Ja Rule set to leave NY prison in gun case

ALBANY, N.Y. (AP) — Platinum-selling rapper Ja Rule was set to leave an upstate prison on Thursday after serving most of his two-year sentence for illegal gun possession but head straight into federal custody in a tax case.

The rapper, who had been in protective custody at the Mid-State Correctional Facility because of his celebrity, has some time remaining on a 28-month sentence for tax evasion, correction officials said. His sentences were expected to run concurrently.

Ja Rule may have less than six months left and may be eligible for a halfway house, defense attorney Stacey Richman said. An order to pay $ 1.1 million in back taxes is one of the main reasons he wants to get back to work, she said.

“Many people are looking forward to experiencing his talent again,” Richman said.

Ja Rule scored a Grammy Award nomination in 2002 for the best rap album with “Pain is Love.” He also has appeared in movies, including “The Fast and the Furious” in 2001 and “Scary Movie 3″ in 2003.

Ja Rule, who went to the prison in Marcy in June 2011, is getting out at his earliest release date, state correction spokeswoman Linda Foglia said. He had two misbehavior reports for unauthorized phone calls in February 2012 and had work assignments on lawn and grounds crews and participated in education programs, she said.

In the gun case, New York City police said they found a loaded .40-caliber semiautomatic gun in a rear door of Ja Rule’s $ 250,000 luxury car after it was stopped for speeding, and he pleaded guilty in 2010.

He admitted in March 2011 in federal court that he failed to pay taxes on more than $ 3 million he earned between 2004 and 2006 while he lived in Saddle River, N.J.

“I in no way attempted to deceive the government or do anything illegal,” he told the judge. “I was a young man who made a lot of money — I’m getting a little choked up — I didn’t know how to deal with these finances, and I didn’t have people to guide me, so I made mistakes.”

Richman said the 36-year-old rapper, whose real name is Jeffrey Atkins, is looking forward to his daughter’s graduation.

“He’s a devoted father,” she said.

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In Reversal, Florida to Take Health Law’s Medicaid Expansion

MIAMI — Gov. Rick Scott of Florida reversed himself on Wednesday and announced that he would expand his state’s Medicaid program to cover the poor, becoming the latest — and, perhaps, most prominent — Republican critic of President Obama’s health care law to decide to put it into effect.

It was an about-face for Mr. Scott, a former businessman who entered politics as a critic of Mr. Obama’s health care proposals. Florida was one of the states that sued to try to block the law. After the Supreme Court ruled last year that though the law was constitutional, states could choose not to expand their Medicaid programs to cover the poor, Mr. Scott said that Florida would not expand its programs.

Mr. Scott said Wednesday that he now supported a three-year expansion of Medicaid, through the period that the federal government has agreed to pay the full cost of the expansion, and before some of the costs are shifted to the states.

“While the federal government is committed to paying 100 percent of the cost, I cannot in good conscience deny Floridians that needed access to health care,” Mr. Scott said at a news conference. “We will support a three-year expansion of the Medicaid program under the new health care law as long as the federal government meets their commitment to pay 100 percent of the cost during that time.”

He said there were “no perfect options” when it came to the Medicaid expansion. “To be clear: our options are either having Floridians pay to fund this program in other states while denying health care to our citizens,” he said, “or using federal funding to help some of the poorest in our state with the Medicaid program as we explore other health care reforms.”

Mr. Scott said the state would not create its own insurance exchange to comply with another provision of the law.

His reversal sent ripples through the nation, especially given the change in tone and substance since the summer, when he said he would not create an exchange or expand Medicaid.

“Floridians are interested in jobs and economic growth, a quality education for their children, and keeping the cost of living low,” Mr. Scott said in a statement at the time. “Neither of these major provisions in Obamacare will achieve those goals, and since Florida is legally allowed to opt out, that’s the right decision for our citizens.”

Mr. Scott now joins the Republican governors of Arizona, Michigan, Nevada, New Mexico, North Dakota and Ohio, who have decided to join the Medicaid expansion. Some, like Gov. Jan Brewer of Arizona, were also staunch opponents of Mr. Obama’s overall health care law.

Shortly before his announcement, the governor received word from the federal government that it planned to grant Florida the final waiver needed to privatize Medicaid, a process the state initially undertook as a pilot project. Mr. Scott, who is running for re-election next year, has heavily lobbied for the waiver, arguing that Florida could not expand Medicaid without it.

Mr. Scott’s support of Medicaid expansion is significant, but is far from the last word. The program requires approval from Florida’s Republican-dominated Legislature, which has been averse to expanding Medicaid under the health care law. The Legislature’s two top Republican leaders said that before making a decision they would consider recommendations from a select committee, which has been asked to review the state’s options.

“The Florida Legislature will make the ultimate decision,” Will Weatherford, the state House speaker, said. “I am personally skeptical that this inflexible law will improve the quality of health care in our state and ensure our long-term financial stability.”

Medicaid, which covers three million people in Florida, costs the state $21 billion a year. The expansion would extend coverage to one million more people.

Mr. Scott’s reversal is sure to anger his original conservative supporters.

The governor “was elected because of his principled conservative leadership against Obamacare’s overreach,” said Slade O’Brien, state director for Americans for Prosperity, an influential conservative advocacy organization. “Hopefully our legislative leaders will not follow in Governor Scott’s footsteps, and will reject expansion.”

During his announcement on Wednesday, Mr. Scott said his mother’s recent death and her lifetime struggle to raise five children “with very little money” played a role in his decision.

“Losing someone so close to you puts everything in a new perspective, especially the big decisions,” he said.

Michael Cooper contributed reporting from New York.

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Nearly 645K Chicago mortgages underwater

Almost 645,000 homeowners in a 14-county Chicago area owed more on their mortgages than their homes were worth at the end of December, a slight increase from the third quarter, Zillow reported Thursday.

Still, the company's fourth quarter report on negative equity showed a year-over-year decrease in the percentage of homeowners with a mortgage who were underwater on their loans. Last year, 41,208 area homes moved into positive equity, Zillow found.

Compared with the nation as a whole, the Chicago area remains hard hit by the housing crisis. Zillow found that nationally, 27.5 percent of homeowners with a mortgage, or about 13.8 million homeowners, had negative equity in December, but that percentage should fall to 25.5 percent by the end of this year.

That positive trend is not the case in the Chicago area, where the percentage of underwater homeowners is expected to increase to 37.3 percent of all homeowners with a mortgage by the fourth quarter. The uptick is due to Zillow's prediction that home values in the Chicago area are expected to fall 0.6 percent this year.

Zillow's definition of the Chicago area includes Cook, DeKalb, DuPage, Grundy, Jasper, Kane, Kendall, Lake, McHenry, Newton, Porter and Will counties in Illinois, Wisconsin's Kenosha County and Indiana's Lake County.

mepodmolik@tribune.com | Twitter @mepodmolik

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Police shoot robbery suspect in Bucktown intersection

Chicago police chased a robbery suspect from River North into Bucktown and shot him after he tried to run over an officer, according to authorities.

Police said the man wanted in more than a dozen robberies of North Side convenience stores and restaurants. He was wounded after robbing a Subway shop on State Street just north of Chicago Avenue, police said.

Officers working a robbery mission team pursued an SUV that matched the description of one fleeing the scene to the intersection of North, Milwaukee and Damen avenues. The man tried to run over an officer after backing into a squad car, police said in a statement.

The man did not respond to commands and made suspicious movements inside the vehicle before he was shot, and police said they recovered a weapon at the scene.

The man, whose age was not available, was taken to Stroger Hospital.

Police from a number of nearby districts responded to the scene after officers called a "10-1," a term used to signal an officer, firefighter or paramedic in distress. Detectives from two of the three city detective areas also responded.

Detectives approached people at the bars that line the intersection, asking if anyone saw anything.  Police blocked access to the area and the CTA rerouted its bus traffic around the intersection.

Hours after the shooting, as the bars wrapped up for the night, people stood outside smoking and exchanging stories of the cop cars they saw speeding toward the scene.

The other robberies linked to the suspect usually occurred between 11:30 p.m. and 2:15 a.m. They included hold-ups within two hours of each other at 2200 N. Lincoln Avenue and 300 W. Chicago Avenue early in the morning of Feb. 6.

pnickeas@tribune.com
Twitter: @peternickeas

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A Minute With: Billy Crystal, former host of the Academy Awards

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) – Few people have more experience hosting the Academy Awards than actor Billy Crystal, who was the master of ceremonies for the movie industry’s highest honors for the ninth time last year.

As “Family Guy” creator Seth MacFarlane prepares to host the Oscars for the first time on Sunday, Crystal, 64, spoke to Reuters about his own experiences and offered some tips.

Q: What is the secret to being a good Oscar host?

A: “Anytime I’ve been asked by new hosts – Chris Rock called me, Jon Stewart called me – I always say the same thing: ‘Whatever your approach, the world is a rough room. And it’s a big room. Not everybody is going to like what you have to say. But when you’re up there, look like you want to be there. You’re the captain of show business that night. That’s your job.’”

Q: Is there a particular way to handle the audience?

A: “You’ve got the first five rows of people who are all nominated actors. They are really nervous. The women are in uncomfortable dresses. The men aren’t used to wearing tuxedos. For most of them, it’s the end of a really long awards season. The lights are bright, it’s usually really cold in there and there are cameras running everything to get reaction shots. So make them feel relaxed. And you have to be funny.”

Q: In those conditions, that sounds like a pretty tall order.

A: “It’s a really difficult job because it goes against everything you want to do as a performer and I always found that hard. As a performer who loves his job on stage, I don’t really like to see the audience, I like to feel them. So I try to encourage (new hosts) to understand that it’s not going to be what they’re used to.”

Q: Do you have a favorite year of all the ones you hosted?

A: “Definitely my first one (in 1990) because it was the first and it went really, really well. Then the one I almost didn’t do (in 1992) because I had pneumonia. I had a 104 temperature and was so sick. I came out as Hannibal Lecter in a mask and was wheeled out on a gurney and went out into the audience and talked to Anthony Hopkins. It was the year Jack Palance won for ‘City Slickers‘ and did the one-arm push-ups. That set me up for an evening of just running jokes about him.”

Q: Any mishaps that you recall needing to step in and save?

A: “At the (1992 ceremony) I introduced Hal Roach from the stage. It was his 100th birthday. He wasn’t supposed to speak, only wave. But he started speaking, holding himself up by the seat in front of him. You could barely hear him. It went on and on. You could feel people getting restless. Lines were racing through my head and I thought, ‘How do you get out of this?’”

Q: And how did you?

A: “I hit on a line and just looked at the audience and said: ‘It’s only fitting, he got his start in silent films!’ It got a big cheer. For me, I could look at that one little moment and say, ‘I was okay then. I was a good comedian that night.’”

Q: Did hosting the Oscars ever get old for you?

A: “If it ever gets old hat, you shouldn’t do it. The nervous part for me was when we had a good show, trying to top it the next year. It was putting that self-imposed pressure on myself. We were fortunate enough to have some good shows and some not as good as others.”

Q: Do you have one particular moment that will always stay with you?

A: “I came up with this idea of putting me in the nominated films. The last piece was ‘The English Patient‘ where I’m walking in the desert. David Letterman had a rough time (when he hosted the Oscars in 1995), so I said, ‘What if Letterman is in the plane and he’s coming after me because I’m hosting?’ So we did that and I thought, ‘What if I come through the screen?’ So they built a screen and I ran on film and then popped right through the screen and suddenly I was live (at the theater).”

Q: So was that your favorite moment?

A: “Here’s my singular favorite moment: My mother was in the audience that night. It was the only time she saw me host the Oscars in person. When I popped through the screen, she and I made eye contact. We just looked at each other … so that was the greatest moment.”

Q: Would you host again if asked?

A: “Today with social media, everybody who can press ‘send’ is a critic. There’s a lot of good ones, but the mean ones are really mean. If you have a thin skin for that it makes it hard … For me if the show is good, it’s expected. If it’s a bit off, you get creamed. And I don’t feel like getting creamed anymore.”

(Editing by Jill Serjeant, Patricia Reaney and Stacey Joyce)

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The New Old Age Blog: The Reluctant Caregiver

Now and then, I refer to the people that caregivers tend to as “loved ones.” And whenever I do, a woman in Southern California tells me, I set her teeth on edge.

She visits her mother-in-law, runs errands, helps with the paperwork — all tasks she has shouldered with a grim sense of duty.  She doesn’t have much affection for this increasingly frail 90something or enjoy her company; her efforts bring no emotional reward. Her husband, an only child, feels nearly as detached. His mother wasn’t abusive, a completely different scenario, but they were never very close.

Ms. A., as I’ll call her because her mother-in-law reads The Times on her computer, feels miserable about this. “She says she appreciates us, she’s counting on us. She thanks us,” Ms. A. said of her non-loved one. “It makes me feel worse, because I feel guilty.”

She has performed many services for her mother-in-law, who lives in a retirement community, “but I really didn’t want to. I know how grudging it was.”

Call her the Reluctant Caregiver. She and her husband didn’t invite his parents to follow them to the small city where they settled to take jobs. The elders did anyway, and as long as they stayed healthy and active, both couples maintained their own lives. Now that her mother-in-law is widowed and needy, Ms. A feels trapped.

Ashamed, too. She knows lots of adult children work much harder at caregiving yet see it as a privilege. For her, it is mere drudgery. “I don’t feel there’s anybody I can say that to,” she told me — except a friend in Phoenix and, anonymously, to us.

The friend, therapist Randy Weiss, has served as both a reluctant caregiver to her mother, who died very recently at 86, and a willing caregiver to her childless aunt, living in an assisted living dementia unit at 82. Spending time with each of them made Ms. Weiss conscious of the distinction.

Her visits involved many of the same activities, “but it feels very different,” she said. “I feel the appreciation from my aunt, even if she’s much less able to verbalize it.” A cherished confidante since adolescence, her aunt breaks into smiles when Ms. Weiss arrives and exclaims over every small gift, even a doughnut. She worked in the music industry for decades and, despite her memory loss, happily sings along with the jazz CDs Ms. Weiss brings.

Because she had no such connection with her mother, whom Ms. Weiss described as distant and critical, “it’s harder to do what I have to do,” she said. (We spoke before her mother’s death.) “One is an obligation I fulfill out of duty. One is done with love.”

Unlike her friend Ms. A, “I don’t feel guilty that I don’t feel warmly towards my mother,” Ms. Weiss said. “I’ve made my peace.”

Let’s acknowledge that at times almost every caregiver knows exhaustion, anger and resentment.  But to me, reluctant caregivers probably deserve more credit than most. They are not getting any of the good stuff back, no warmth or laughter, little tenderness, sometimes not even gratitude.

Yet they are doing this tough work anyway, usually because no one else can or will. Maybe an early death or a divorce means that the person who would ordinarily have provided care can’t. Or maybe the reluctant caregiver is simply the one who can’t walk away.

“It’s important to acknowledge that every relationship doesn’t come from ‘The Cosby Show,’” said Barbara Moscowitz when I called to ask her about reluctance. Ms. Moscowitz, a senior geriatric social worker at Massachusetts General Hospital, has heard many such tales from caregivers in her clinical practice and support groups.

“We need to allow people to be reluctant,” she said. “It means they’re dutiful; they’re responsible. Those are admirable qualities.”

Yet, she recognizes, “they feel oppressed by the platitudes. ‘Your mother is so lucky to have you!’” Such praise just makes people like Ms. A. squirm.

Ms. Moscowitz also worries about reluctant caregivers, and urges them to find support groups where they can say the supposedly unsay-able, and to sign up early for community services — hotlines, senior centers, day programs, meals on wheels — that can help lighten the load.

“Caregiving only goes one way – it gets harder, more complex,” she said. “Support groups and community resources are like having a first aid kit. It’s going to feel like even more of a burden, and you need to be armed.”

I wonder, too, if reluctant caregivers have a romanticized view of what the task is like for everyone else. Elder care can be a wonderful experience, satisfying and meaningful, but guilt and resentment are also standard parts of the job description, at least occasionally.

For a reluctant caregiver, “the satisfaction is, you haven’t turned your back,” Ms. Moscowitz said. “You can take pride in that.”

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Paula Span is the author of “When the Time Comes: Families With Aging Parents Share Their Struggles and Solutions.”

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